Since the last time I was here – I’ve been given the opportunity to walk out of my comfort zone and gather a new perspective of life. It’s opened up the scope of realization that my life is but a fragment of the grander scheme of the world that is out there. What took up 80% of my time is now cut down to taking 20% of my time and I am devoting the 80% to what is truly important. In essence, I am slowing down to grow. I want to take the time to learn, to appreciate, to understand myself & those around me. What is important, what is necessary and what is not. In this year alone, I’ve been to Cuba, New York City, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore and know that these experiences have already contributed to my definition of self.
In Cuba – I learned that Che Guevara was a doctor from Argentina who felt so strong about the poverty in Cuba, he devoted his later years to revolutionizing forces against the corrupted Batista regime. He conquered in 1959. He was described as having an “affinity for the poor”.
In New York City – I walked on the soils of Ground Zero, where the World Trade Centers no longer exist from the September 11 attacks; where more than 400 firefighters died while trying to rescue those in the building as it collapsed.
In Hong Kong – I realized the value of having good friends and being a good friend. To have a friend take the time out of their day to show me and my family around for three days was more than I could have asked for.
In Malaysia/Singapore – I spent time with family where nothing was more important than spending time with each other, where the need for materialism and social stature was non-existent. Living within their means meant they had more time to be happy & and more to be happy about. There is so much that is taken for granted, that I take for granted.
And I want to keep being eager, keep continuing to grow.
Don’t be afraid to do what it is that makes you happy.
Sometimes you don’t notice how fast life is passing you by until you take a step away from all of it to realize that you can barely remember any noteworthy memories you’ve created in the last month, last 6 months, last year – you are suffering autopilot syndrome. Life becomes redundant, replayed and predictable – you know there are things you’d “rather” be doing, but always justify that what you are doing now is part of a greater plan – is it? What are you waiting for? The answer to the questions that ask “why” you are doing something is “just because”. You never have “time” to do the things you wished you could do – and then finally, you get burnt out – what actually makes you happy anymore? Where lies that passion for things you once urged to do? Where is that commitment to strive for the things you want without the fear of failure? If there is not a choice that makes me just a little bit nervous to make, I am not making a choice, I am just getting by.
We are driven by fear.
Fear that others won’t respect our decision; fear that we can’t live up to expectations; fear that we might fail or fear that what I find on the other end of the discovery makes me happier than what I am doing now. Having a fear is a normal reaction and to err is only human. The approach to figuring out what it is that actually makes you happy, what actually gets up you in the morning to the beautiful sunrise, to live out your passions is what life is worth living for. To try & fail over and over again, is ten steps closer to discovering my eternal happiness than to avoid doing the hard things and always pondering & never discovering what unleashes the inner ecstasy. I am scared to make decisions, I will fail & I don’t know what comes in store next – but I believe in discovering that internal strength & happiness in this one life even if it means to conquer my fears.
My mandate in life is to find internal happiness in order to evoke happiness onto others.
I used to think that I could find happiness by constantly surrounding myself with things that can make me laugh or smile. But no matter how much externally driven happiness contributes to your happiness, nothing can truly make you happy, but yourself. You physically represent happiness, but are you a ‘happy person’? Would you consider yourself a happy person? If not – why? When you laugh, smile, chuckle or giggle are you really feeling those emotions inside? I want to learn the things that make me truly happy inside & one of those things is helping others find theirs.
Finding that internal happiness through introspective thought & commitment to personal growth
Today is the day I’ve decided to let my thoughts continue to fluster through verbal thought & commit to manuscripting this rebirth of perspective that have been on autopilot the last few months. The clarity achieved through honing down & writing these thoughts down is cathartic. Accompanied by the sultry sound track that is Elliot Yamin – I feel free. I have never felt more comfortable spending time with myself and believe with all my heart that devoting time to yourself in this fast paced society that is a constant engine of superficial purpose – is important when it comes down to understanding the only purpose that matters to me – my happiness. I want to learn, discover & continue this journey of growing as a person, as an independent woman in society by being open to new experiences & letting nothing by my commitment to happiness drive me.
Music is the Happiness Steroid